You Had One Job!
by Gaby Black
Summary: Yes, Sirius knows he only had one job. Yes, he knows it's a big day, and the bride and groom have other things to worry about. But the fact is, he's lost the rings. [Complete]
1. Part 1: How to Keep the Flame Alive

**Author's note: **This is a short story (I expect in 3 or 4 chapters) I am writing for the Masquerade Ball challenge on the Reviews Corner forum. I am using the OC I created, Venusta Vance (though she does not appear in this first chapter). She's in a few of my stories including one called _I May Lose Everything. _You don't need to have read that other story to read this one.

This story is told entirely from Sirius's POV and is proving to be fun to write, hope you will find it fun to read, too.

**Rating**: M, for occasional cursing, references to sex.

**Genres and pairings**: General, romance (Sirius/OC with background James/Lily), humour

* * *

**_Part One: How to Keep the Flame Alive_**

* * *

_"_Can't my hair look like yours for once? Just for my wedding day? Is it really too much to ask?"

Sirius ran a hair through his glossy hair and grinned at James, who stood in front of the large mirror of his parents' living room, looking dismayed. Sirius had recently cut his hair shorter than it had been in years, ditching the rock star look for a more respectable one. And it still looked better than James's, no matter what amount of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion James used.

"I'm sorry, mate," Sirius said gravely, as if delivering some particularly bad news. "But, you know, she loves you anyway. She'll marry you, in spite of everything."

James rolled his eyes and chuckled as he put on his suit jacket. It seemed strange to Sirius to see his best friend look so grown-up, about to get married while he was only nineteen years old. Not for the first time, Sirius repeated to himself that whatever happened, he had to be happy for James, and not question his choices. No matter how alike they were on some aspects, they were also fundamentally different on others. Just because James was about to do something that would have made Sirius scream in panic if it was him, didn't mean it was the wrong thing for James to do. And if James was going to marry anyone, it might as well be Lily Evans.

"Kidding, you look great, Prongs," Sirius said, smiling.

Sirius and Remus joined James in front of the mirror. Sirius could barely recognise Hogwarts's infamous troublemakers in the three dashing young men in the mirror. It was like they had borrowed adults' suits for the day.

"So do you, and Moony. I just can't believe I'm marrying her, you know, and that you're all here with me."

James looked like he had something stuck in his eyes; he kept blinking, and there was a funny look on his face, like the night when they had told Remus they had become Animagi.

"Oi, don't go all cry-baby on us, Potter," Sirius said gruffly, feeling his own eyes stinging. "Otherwise Moony'll start crying too and then what am I supposed to do? I'll just have to join in, won't I? And that's not acceptable. Get a grip on yourself."

"All right, all right." James nodded, and threw his hands in the air. It seemed he had given up on trying to tame his hair. "You're lucky Peter's already at the venue sorting out the flowers and table decoration at the moment, otherwise he'd be crying, for sure."

Remus looked down at his dark blue suit, identical to Sirius's, and made a face. Sirius recognised it as Remus's 'something's-not-right-in-Remus-Lupin's-world' face.

"How come my suit's all wrinkled and yours looks amazing?" Remus said. "I'm the tidy one and you're a mess."

"Nah, I'm not, and that's the proof."

Sirius laughed at the look on Remus's face, which was now set to 'stop-pulling-my-leg' mode.

"Sirius, I literally lived with you for seven years."

"Can't I have my secrets?" Sirius said dramatically. "My aura of mystery. Gotta keep the flame burning."

"What flame?" James said.

"The flame of our friendship! Like we still have stuff we don't know about each other, the four of us."

"I always knew you were a romantic at heart," James said, grinning.

"After you peel the hundred layers of sarcasm and wit, of course," Remus said.

"Oh yeah? What about _your_ layers of sarcasm and wit, Lupin?"

Absent-mindedly, Sirius muttered an anti-creasing spell aiming at Remus's suit. Remus examined the results of Sirius's work, looking impressed.

"Thanks, Sirius, you'll make a great housewife one day," Remus said, smirking.

"That's if he finds someone to peel the hundred layers," James said, and he glanced at the clock on the wall, as both Remus and Sirius stood in front of the mirror again, finishing to get ready. "OK, we've got some time yet before we need to go. Just checking, you've got the rings, Padfoot, right?"

Sirius stopped fiddling with his bow-tie and froze. He had a bad feeling about this, and a shiver ran down his spine as he realised he wasn't sure at all where the rings were. What he knew for sure is he had not seen them in a while, perhaps weeks. He had not been worried about it, because he had been sure that someone else had them. Now he wasn't so sure anymore.

"No, Moony's got them."

Remus, who had been fighting with his own bow-tie, turned away from the mirror to look pointedly at James. Sirius hoped the look didn't mean, why did you choose Sirius as best man again?

"No,_ you_ have them. You're the best man, Sirius. It's your responsibility, we've been over this."

"You had one job!" James started pacing, shaking his head. "Please tell us you were only kidding, and you've got them."

"I think my brain just froze after the word responsibility." Sirius smiled sheepishly at his friends' annoyed faces. "But not to worry, I'll just pop by my flat and get them. It's absolutely fine."

_It's an absolute fucking nightmare_, Sirius thought. _But I'll fix it, I just have to._

_"_I'll be back before you know it," Sirius said.

"You'd better," James said. "If it takes you more than half an hour then meet us directly at the venue, ok?"

"Got you. I'll see you in a bit. Don't worry, Prongs. Everything'll be fine."

Sirius shrugged at Remus.

"I'd tell you not to worry, too, but that's always been rather counterproductive. We all know how you get."

"And we all know how _you _get," Remus said. "You try to drown us in words when you've got something to hide."

"Damn it, what happened to the flame, Moony?"

Sirius cursed under his breath as he left. It wasn't often that he hated himself, and he didn't quite care for the feeling. He would do whatever had to be done, and he knew just the person to ask for help.


	2. Part 2: How to Surprise your Other Half

_**Part Two: How to Surprise Your Other Half**_

* * *

Sirius quickly walked down the quiet suburban street. It was a warm and sunny July day, and he felt too hot in his suit. He was grateful for the freshness of the Evans' small house, once Mrs Evans had let him in. She informed him that the girls were upstairs getting ready. Sirius forced himself not to run up the stairs, reminding himself that he should not worry Lily under any circumstance; he shouldn't let it show that something was not going according to plan. He heard girly giggles coming from behind a closed door and knocked on it. When he came in, he was surprised to see Lily already in her wedding dress, her long dark red hair styled in smooth waves. Mary McDonald, who was standing behind Lily and fussing over Lily's dress, had her hair styled in a similar way. Venus was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, you're already ready?" Sirius said.

He was screwed, there was less time left than he had thought. The whole wedding would be ruined and it would be his fault. He would die alone eaten by cats, or dogs, or both.

"No, I'm not," Lily said, laughing. "I still need to get my make-up done, silly."

"Really? Well, you already look amazing to me. I thought you were done."

Lily flushed. Sirius didn't know nor care about wedding dresses, but she did look beautiful, and very happy. He felt proud on his friend's behalf.

"Thanks, Sirius. Do you really think so?"

"I do. You look stunning. Now I'm a bit worried James will actually faint when he sees you."

Lily and Mary chuckled as they put the final touch to their hair-dos.

"Get ready to reanimate him, then. Everything ok with you boys?" Lily said.

Sirius leant against the doorway, affecting his usual casual stance. He felt bad for lying to Lily, even if it was for a good reason.

"Yeah, all fine, no problem whatsoever. James looks dashing."

"I'm sure he does. And so do you. Ah, I just can't wait to see him."

Lily clapped her hands together, smiling from ear to ear. Sirius hated that he had not been on top of his game for Lily and James, who had always been there for him.

"Can I borrow Venus for a bit?" Sirius said.

"Why?" Lily crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. "I was going to ask what you're doing here? I mean, I don't think you two have time to… fool around before three o'clock."

Sirius grinned, trying to behave like his normal self would, while his stomach felt like it was upside down.

"Come on, Venus and I don't have sex _all _the time. Sometimes I need to refuse her, a man's got to have some rest, you know."

"It's more like the other way around."

Venus had emerged from the ensuite bathroom. She was wearing a long, figure-hugging yellow dress that complimented her olive skin tone, and was split on one leg. Her black hair fell on her shoulders in waves. It was the first time he had ever seen her wearing high heels, and with them she was practically as tall as him. She looked so beautiful that Sirius found himself unable to answer her teasing words. He tried not to stare, and instead fixed his gaze on the window, which was open onto the garden.

"Your not-boyfriend says he needs to take you away for a bit," Lily said to Venus.

Though it had been over a year and a half they were seeing each other - Sirius quite liked the neutral term 'seeing' - both Sirius and Venus insisted they were not in a relationship. They didn't go on dates (at least, they didn't call it a date when they went out together), and didn't celebrate any kind of anniversary or Valentine's Day. They didn't hold hands, give each other romantic gifts, or use the revolting kind of baby-talk couples seemed to favour. Sirius was relieved that Venus was as happy as he was going along with it without any kind of plan or need to describe what they were to each other. But that didn't stop other people from trying to put a label on them.

"Can you spare me?" Venus said.

"It should be fine, thanks, Mary'll do my make-up. Just try to be back in around half an hour, please."

Venus grabbed her handbag and checked her watch. She looked at Sirius as if she was going to ask him something, and then back at Lily.

"Sure, Mrs Potter," Venus said, grinning. "Don't worry."

"Behave yourselves," Lily said, in her best impression of a weary young mother.

Once they had closed the bedroom door behind them, Sirius was determined to tell Venus about the rings immediately, but it seemed she had other plans as she looked appreciatively at him and smirked. Just the way she was looking at him was enough to make him forget where he lived, let alone what he had to say.

"You look really handsome. I'd never seen you in a suit before. So, why did you come here exactly? Please speak, you're starting to scare me. By the way, whatever Lily says, I'm sure we've got time for a quick one."

"I don't do quick ones, as you know," Sirius said.

"He speaks!"

Venus chuckled and pulled him towards her.

"I want to rip that suit off you," Venus whispered in Sirius's ear. "Let's go to your place right now, and we'll do it on the first piece of furniture we come across."

Sirius felt his resolve waver and arousal take over as she pressed her body against his and kissed his neck. It brought up a mental image of her from that morning when she had climbed out of his bed, wearing nothing but his favourite Motörhead t-shirt.

"Hmm that's - really tempting - no, Vee, we shouldn't -"

Sirius stopped his poor attempts at speaking, and took a deep breath. Trying to think only about James's friendship and how much it meant to him, he very gently pushed Venus away.

"Actually, we do need to go to my place. That's why I came to fetch you. I'm… not entirely sure where the rings are. James and Lily's wedding rings, I mean."

"Seriously? You had one job!"

Sirius scowled at the carpet and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew it was childish of him, but he wished they could just skip the part where he got blamed.

"I know. Are you going to help me or not?"

When he looked at her, he was quite surprised to see she was smiling at him.

"Of course I am, don't be daft. Are we going back to your place to look for them, then? Do you remember where you last put them?"

* * *

They hurried off to Sirius's flat and started their search in the living room, having decided it was the most likely room where Sirius would have stored the rings. When the search proved unsuccessful, they moved on to the bedroom. Sirius visualised the two rings in their small velvet box, and raised his wand.

"_Accio_ wedding rings."

Venus looked at him and rolled her eyes. As expected, nothing happened.

"What? It was worth a shot, wasn't it?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Venus said, nodding. She sighed and walked towards the chest of drawers by the window. "We'll have to go through all your stuff. I know your idea of tidying up before I come over is to shove everything inside the drawers."

She opened the top drawer and chuckled.

"What's this drawer supposed to be for?"

The drawer was a jumble of t-shirts, jumpers and unmatched socks, with a couple of scarves thrown in the mix.

"We're here to look for the rings, not criticise my organising methods," Sirius said.

"Your 'organising methods'? That's cute."

Venus laughed as he pretended to be offended. They worked through the chest of drawers in silence, and then through the bedside tables. He saw her smile as she went through the contents of the table on his side of the bed, taking out a few letters and pictures.

"You've kept this," Venus said, holding up the ticket to the first concert they had attended together, over a year ago.

Without knowing exactly why, Sirius felt his cheeks grow hot. He looked away and shrugged, pretending to be engrossed in his search of the other nightstand.

"It was a good gig."

They continued working in silence, until Sirius sighed and sat down on the carpet, defeated.

"I'm worried that maybe I lost the rings because, deep down, I don't really want them to get married. I know it's selfish, but I can't help it. It feels a bit like I'm losing my best friend. I thought I'd have several years before that happened, I never thought he'd get married now."

Venus remained silent for a while, and then she walked towards him and helped him get up.

"Sirius, I never thought I'd say that to you, but you're overthinking this. You're not to first person to screw up. Doesn't mean you did it on purpose."

The doorbell rang, and Sirius opened the front door to find two of his neighbours. One had long, very straight blonde hair and was quite attractive, albeit in a slightly vulgar way. She gave him an appraising glance from head to toe**.** The other girl had an unfortunate set of teeth. Sirius wasn't good at remembering people's names, so he usually gave them nicknames, which he had the decency to keep to himself. Usually, they were based on people's physical appearance and were often not very flattering.

"Hello, handsome," Blonde Babe said. "We've lost our dog, have you seen him by any chance?"

"He's a Jack Russell." Bad Teeth was stumbling over her words, looking around anxiously. "He's a small dog, white and brown. Barks a lot."

Blonde Babe and Bad Teeth were in their late twenties and lived two doors down from Sirius, between Creepy Old Man and The Family From Hell. Sirius hoped never to be invited to any kind of neighbours gathering.

"I know the one," Sirius said. "I'm sorry, I don't know where he is, but I can tell you I'm not holding your dog prisoner in my flat."

Sirius looked pointedly at Blonde Babe, who had been craning her neck to try and get a look at what was behind Sirius. She blushed and smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. Just as he was trying to find polite but firm words to get rid of his neighbours, he heard footsteps behind him and Venus came to stand next to him. He pinched his lips together not to smile when he saw Blonde Babe's face fall as she saw Venus.

"What's going on?"

Venus's voice was distant and slightly cold, like that of a monarch finding herself forced to speak to lesser beings. Unlike Venus, who sometimes complained about his jealousy, Sirius was actually quite pleased when she placed an arm around his waist, her hand resting just above his bottom.

"They've lost their dog," Sirius said to Venus.

"We thought he was in the backyard but he — he didn't come back," Bad Teeth said, looking like she was about to cry.

Sirius actually liked that dog. And maybe doing a good deed for someone else, even though it was not James, would help make him feel better.

"We'll keep an eye out for him," Sirius said.

Once he had got rid of his neighbours with further reassurances, Sirius asked Venus to search the kitchen and the bathroom, though it was very unlikely he had ever brought the rings in either of those rooms. He then transformed into Padfoot and Venus let him out of the building. He trotted around the neighbourhood, sniffing, his human emotions of guilt and anxiety temporarily tuned down. There was a small public garden nearby, and there he found the Jack Russell, which was chasing a squirrel. There was no one else around; he went behind a bush to transform back into himself. He scooped up the dog in his arms and almost ran back to the building. Bad Teeth and Blonde Babe were out calling for their dog, and when they saw him, they both squealed and thanked him profusely. Bad Teeth grabbed the dog from Sirius and kissed it, while Blonde Babe stared at Sirius, looking like she would rather kiss him instead. At least, as he saw the dog run happily around his owners, he felt like his day was perhaps not a total failure after all.

When he returned to the flat, he was going to ask Venus if she had found anything, but he immediately saw that she didn't look well. She was standing in the corridor, looking unsteady on her feet. She winced and placed a hand on her stomach. When she saw him, she let her hand drop to her side and tried to smile.

"Are you all right, babe?"

It usually amused Sirius to call Venus babe or baby, as she was such a strong-willed, independent woman. She retaliated by calling him the same. It had become a habit, and Sirius had noticed that he sometimes used it without meaning to tease her. But right now, he was genuinely concerned as he looked at her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Not really," Venus said, avoiding his gaze. "I've got nausea. It was even stronger this morning, after I left your place. I feel a bit dizzy, too."

"Sit down, I'll get you some water."

When Sirius came back from the kitchen, Venus had sat down on the couch. He handed her a glass of water and she took a sip, staring at the carpet. He didn't understand why she looked so worried.

"I'm late on my period. About a couple of weeks. It's not the first time, but, with the nausea as well, I don't know…"

Sirius was glad he had given her the glass, or he could have dropped it.

"No, it's impossible," Sirius said, frowning. "I mean, we're always careful, right?"

"Easy for you to say!" Venus said in a heated voice, finally looking at him. "The spell's got to be done by the woman for it to work, or so they say. It's so unfair. I'm sure whoever invented that spell was a man. And it needs to be done within half an hour each time, so, yeah, I always do it, but I mean, it could be that once I did it too late. Or that once I drunk a bit too much, and I forgot to do it. Fuck, I don't know."

"Padfoot!"

Both Sirius and Venus jumped at the muffled sound of James's voice. Sirius quickly took out his two-way mirror and saw his best friend's smiling face.

"Padfoot, all is well, we've got the rings!"

"What? How in hell —"

"Doesn't matter," James said. "Anyway, it means you can stop looking and you can come join us. Guests are starting to arrive here. Are you all right, Padfoot? I thought you'd—"

"It's great news, Prongs," Sirius said, forcing a smile. "There's just one thing I've got to take care of, and then I'll be right there, I promise."

Sirius placed the mirror back in his pocket. He did feel relieved, though now he was confused as to how and where James could possibly have found the rings. It was such a relief to know that James and Lily's wedding would go along smoothly, that he hadn't ruined it. But his mind was now on another issue. He looked at Venus, taking in each detail of her as if he was seeing her for the first time. There were golden sparks in her green eyes, and her full lips were set in a pout as she looked down at her hands, which she was twisting around. Her gold jewellery sparkled in the bright afternoon sun.

"You're too hot to be anyone's mum."

He placed a hand on her stomach. It felt unreal that maybe there was a little baby Sirius in there. Often, he still felt like a child himself. Just the idea of having the responsibility for an actual human life made the room spin around him.

"That's not how it works," Venus said, her voice as soft as her skin as she placed her hand on Sirius's. "I really hope this is just a coincidence. I don't think I want to have a kid, ever. But I know for sure I don't want one now. I'm sure you don't, either."

"No, I don't. Can you imagine me taking care of a child? I can't even keep a drawer tidy."

Venus smiled and stood up. She was the strongest person he knew, and though it did take a lot to impress him, she definitely managed to. Whatever happened, he had complete faith in her to sort it out.

"What do we do now?"

"I want to find out," Venus said. "I need to know. We still have around half an hour, right? Let's quickly pass by Morden Apothecaries."

* * *

Morden Apothecaries was the best place in Diagon Alley to find medicinal herbs, potions and substances. Since it was a nice summer afternoon, the shop was not as crowded as Sirius had feared. Sirius and Venus walked around and picked up a couple of items at random, as Venus didn't feel comfortable buying only the potion they needed. There were only two other customers in the shop: a young woman examining the healing herbs aisle, and an older lady who was paying for her purchases. She looked vaguely familiar from behind: a tall, lean figure, a long dark cloak although it was summer, her hair tied up in a strict bun. When she turned around, Venus and Sirius looked at each other in horror.

"Miss Vance, Mr Black."

Venus recovered first.

"Professor McGonagall! Good afternoon. We didn't expect to see you here."

There were five apothecaries in London, and of course they had to meet someone they knew, it was just their luck. And not only someone they knew, but someone who had been their teacher just a year ago.

"I know it sounds surreal, but teachers have a life, too," McGonagall said, as she pocketed the change the apothecary had handed her.

The apothecary, a man who looked too old to still be working, smiled politely at Sirius and Venus.

"How can I help you today?" he said kindly.

McGonagall was still standing next to them. Venus jerked her head discreetly towards McGonagall. Sirius understood he had to take her away. He smiled charmingly at his former teacher.

"Professor, can I help you with these bags?"

McGonagall looked down at the two relatively small bags she was carrying.

"That won't be necessary, thank you."

Sirius started walking towards the shop's door, relieved when McGonagall started following suit.

"Allow me to open the door for you, then."

"Are you quite all right, Black? You never were so polite before. I dare hope this may be Miss Vance's good influence."

Venus's good influence? Venus said more swear words than all the other girls Sirius knew, combined. But she had been smart enough to keep that hidden from teachers.

"James and Lily are getting married today," Sirius said, purely to change the subject.

He glanced at the counter before opening the door for McGonagall, and saw that Venus was talking with the apothecary. He felt sorry that she had to do that on her own; it couldn't have been easy to ask an old man for a pregnancy test potion.

"Yes, I've heard." McGonagall beamed. "Such wonderful news! Please extend my congratulations to both of them. Actually, shouldn't you be with them right now?"

"Yes but, well, we had quite - er, an urgent purchase to make. Then we'll join them. I'll make sure to pass on your message."

Sirius still had to buy some time. McGonagall didn't seem in a hurry to leave. In other circumstances, Sirius would actually have enjoyed their conversation. During his seven years at Hogwarts, she had been kind of a mother substitute to him, and a figure of authority he could almost tolerate.

"How is Hogwarts without us?"

"A bit more quiet," McGonagall said, with the hint of a smile.

"You mean a bit more boring."

"I have to admit, I haven't yet found your replacements as chief troublemakers."

"Those were the good old days, Professor."

Venus came out of the shop, carrying a brown paper bag. McGonagall nodded at her.

"I believe congratulations are in order for you, too, Miss Vance."

Wait - how did McGonagall know about baby Sirius? Was she a Seer? Was this all some kind of weird dream? Venus stared open-mouthed at McGonagall.

"Congratulations?" Venus spluttered.

"For getting a job at the Ministry," McGonagall said sternly, as if she was telling off Venus for having forgotten she worked there. "Your father must be proud."

"Ah yes, of course! Thank you, yes, he's quite happy about that."

A group of four children walked past them and roughly pushed past Venus to get into the shop, making Venus drop her bag. The contents split on the pavement. A bar of soap, lozenges for sore throat and, in plain sight, the pregnancy test potion.


	3. Part 3: How to Remember the Good Times

**Author's note:** here is the last instalment of the story, hope you enjoy it!

* * *

_**Part Three: How to Remember the Good Things**_

* * *

Venus quickly picked up all the items and put them back in the bag, but judging by the look on McGonagall's face, it was quite clear that she had seen the bottle marked 'Pregnancy Test Potion' in bright red letters. Her face turned white, then red, and she looked somewhere between Sirius and Venus as she finally spoke.

"I really must get going," McGonagall said.

There was another silence. Sirius tried to think about how James would react if he were in his shoes. How James Potter, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, would gracefully impress McGonagall with his wit until she had forgotten what she had seen. All he had to do was avoid at all costs to think of how Remus or Peter would react, otherwise he would blush and splutter until long after McGonagall was gone. He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak.

"It was nice seeing you. Take care, Professor."

She looked sharply at him. The words had come out all right, but not his voice, which sounded higher than usual.

"_You _take care. It was nice seeing you, too. Good day, Miss Vance, Mr Black."

She hurried off in the opposite direction, soon disappearing in the crowd of people walking around, enjoying the sun. Venus groaned, hiding her face behind her hands.

"Kill me now," Venus said.

"I think James and Lily'll take care of that, if we miss the wedding. Come on, let's go."

* * *

The Potters had rented a very large room for the wedding. It was beautifully decorated, mostly in red and gold hues in honour of the Gryffindor couple. There were several rows of chairs separated in two groups, and most of them already had people sitting on them. Sirius saw James standing with Peter and Remus next to the wizard who was to officiate the ceremony. He hurried in their direction, while Venus went to look for Mary.

"I was starting to think you'd leave me at the altar," James said.

In spite of his teasing words, James's hand was shaking slightly as he ran it through his hair, ruining his earlier efforts to tame it.

"I'm really sorry, Prongs. I swear I have a good excuse. Besides, I made it just on time, right? But first, tell me where the hell did you find the rings?"

James rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"You really have no clue, do you? It turns out Wormtail had the rings all along."

"What?"

Sirius turned to Peter, frowning as he tried to understand how the rings had come into Peter's possession. Peter recoiled slightly under Sirius's intense gaze, as if he was afraid that Sirius was going to blame him.

"Don't you remember?" Peter said. "You gave them to me a few weeks ago, the night we got drunk at your flat, you know? I think Prongs was with Lily that night, and Moony was, well, recovering from the full moon. So it was just the two of us. And you said you didn't trust yourself with something so important, and wouldn't it be safer if I kept them."

Sirius looked up at the ceiling, images of that night slowly starting to come back to him. He only remembered a few things, but now he did remember telling Peter it would be better if he kept the rings. Though he still did not remember actually handing Peter the velvet box.

"Merlin, I didn't remember. I must've got really drunk then." In other circumstances, that would probably have made Sirius laugh, but he felt like an idiot. He clapped Peter on the back several times. "You're brilliant, Pete! Just brilliant!"

"It's all right," Peter said, his face turning different shades of pink.

"I guess we should go and sit down," Remus said to Peter, as music started and the door opened at the other end of the room.

By the time Peter and Remus had found their seats, the two bridesmaids had walked down the aisle and stood near them. James breathed out and fiddled with his bow tie with one hand, the other hand jumping back to his hair.

"I'm so nervous, Padfoot. What if she's changed her mind? What if she's finally come to her senses and realise she can do better than me? How do I look?"

Sirius smiled at James and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, she's got the coolest bloke and she knows it. You look great. And so does she."

James smiled broadly.

"Of course, Lily's the most beautiful woman in the world." James's smile faded and he frowned at Sirius. "Wait, you've seen her? When —"

James stopped speaking, awestruck, when Lily appeared and walked down the aisle holding her father's arm. Sirius's earlier doubts faded as he looked at his best friend's happy face. This clearly was the best day of James's life so far, and he was immensely relieved he had not ruined it after all.

* * *

Once the ceremony and the subsequent whirlwind of cheers and congratulations were over, Sirius joined Venus to watch as James and Lily had their first dance as husband and wife. After a while, Venus gestured to her small handbag, which was charmed to be expendable.

"I've still got that thing to check," Venus said.

"Can I come with you? I'd like to help."

He knew Venus was too proud to admit she would prefer not to be alone to take the test. She was the kind of person who pretended she was tough enough to do anything by herself. He knew exactly that kind of person, as he was also part of that fake it till you make it club. But he also thought that Venus would actually appreciate him being there.

"All right, if you want," Venus said, sounding as though she was making a compromise for him, but her furtive smile rather ruined the effect. "Let's go to the gents', then. Wouldn't want women to run out screaming in fear if they saw you in the ladies'."

In the relative privacy of the toilet cubicle, Venus took out the potion from her bag and Sirius read the instructions over her shoulder. Drink the potion, wait for thirty seconds; if your tongue is green, you're not pregnant, if it's blue, you're pregnant. Venus took a deep breath and leant against the wall, facing him.

"Maybe this is the universe's way of telling us we should have less sex."

"Then it's not a universe I care to live in," Sirius said. "Come on, I know you don't believe in that."

"I don't, I was just pulling your leg. You're the one who got me in that situation, after all."

"Excuse me, I was under the impression that we were two to create that situation."

Venus rolled her eyes and drank the potion. She winced, and he resisted the urge to take her in his arms.

"It doesn't taste amazing. And I feel like an idiot having to stick my tongue out."

"It could be worse, I remember from Muggle studies that Muggle women actually have to pee on a stick to find out if they're pregnant."

"Gross!" Venus wrinkled her nose. "Poor Muggles. OK, here we go. What colour is it?"

Venus stuck out her tongue, her eyes closed so as not to see his reaction. Sirius let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was green. It had been only a false alarm.

"Green!"

"Like, a proper green, not a blue-green, right?"

"Definitely green," Sirius said, smiling.

"Bloody hell, I can breathe again."

He pulled her towards him and stroked her back.

"Now come over here and give me a kiss."

"Your tongue'll go green," Venus said, chuckling.

"It's worth it."

They stopped kissing only when they heard the sound of the bathroom door opening.

"Maybe we should get out of here," Venus whispered, laughing as she retied Sirius's bow-tie.

Sirius opened the door to find Remus washing his hands. Remus jumped when he saw Venus following Sirius out of the cubicle.

"I'm not pregnant!" Venus said to Remus, smiling brightly.

Remus's ears turned red and he took an inordinate amount of time washing and drying his hands.

"That's, er, great news, I guess?" Remus said.

"Don't worry, Moony, nothing improper happened in here," Sirius said.

"Sirius, you know the eggs you cooked for me this morning… You're sure they were still good, right?"

"I think so," Sirius said.

He tried but failed to remember the date written on the pack; he was quite sure he had not checked that morning.

"That could explain the nausea I had," Venus said. "Please try not to poison me next time?"

* * *

The wedding party was drawing to a close when Sirius felt he had drunk enough alcohol to bring up the subject again, as he and Venus were dancing.

"Actually, I think baby Sirius would've been really cute. A weapon of mass destruction, sure, but cute."

"What makes you think it would've been a boy?"

Sirius shrugged.

"Dunno. I can't imagine a girl with my genes. That'd be weird, wouldn't it?"

Venus rolled her eyes.

"And I can't imagine pushing an eight pound baby Sirius out of my vagina."

"Fair enough."

They danced in silence for a while. Most guests had already gone home, including James's and Lily's parents, but the married couple was nearby dancing what was probably their hundredth dance together that night.

"I don't care much for weddings, but tonight was really nice," Venus said. "James and Lily, they… just seem so happy, you know?"

Sirius nodded but remained silent as she continued.

"There's something I'd like to tell you, but it's not easy… Maybe because you're the most annoying person I know. Yet you —"

"You've really got to work on your sweet talk, Vance."

She sighed.

"Listen to me, Black, I mean this. You're also the most amazing person I know. I always thought you and I, it worked because we're kind of allergic to sentiment. But I guess it must be nice to know what the other person feels."

"Blimey, Venusta, do you mean we're actual humans?"

She scowled at him, but he could see the corners of her mouth twitching. He knew how much she heated the full name. He couldn't see why. Its latin meaning was beauty and charm; he hardly thought her parents could have come up with a better name for her.

"Prick."

She squeezed the back of his neck and placed her head on his shoulder, looking away from him.

"Are you trying to say that —"

"I'm trying to say that I love you, if you'll just let me speak, for fuck's sake."

He let out his bark-like laughter, before he realised what she had just said.

"Damn it," Venus muttered under her breath. "I didn't mean to say it like that."

_You're also the most amazing person I know,_ he repeated in his head a few times, each time believing it a little bit more. He knew lots of girls fancied him, that it was easy for them to be attracted to the good-looking bloke with the roguish smile and the leather jacket. But he had never really thought someone would know him, really know him, and love him for it. It had always felt natural to him, that love played a big part in most people's lives, but not in his. It just wasn't in the cards for him, or perhaps in a very distant future. He was fine with this, or at least he had thought he was. He smiled and held her tighter.

"I love you too, you foul-mouthed, wonderful girl."

He kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent, closing his eyes. It was easier not to look at her, and easier to say it in a joking tone than saying plainly 'I love you'. He felt her relax in his arms and he tried to take a mental photograph of that moment, to add to the memories to hold on to when the fear and worry took over.

"You know, I was thinking, how about I tidy up that drawer so you can leave some of your stuff in there?"

"Sounds good. And don't worry, I promise not to mess up your organisation methods."

Sirius smiled.

"You'd better not. But please, whatever you do, don't ever leave any jewellery in my care."


End file.
